Well we all dodged the Mayan’s bad calendar making and it’s time to look at the year in review. It was hard to pare this list down to 25 memorable moments. If you don’t like my list well tough…go make your own. 2012 was full of fun, the funny, the sad, and sadness. Here are my top 25. Enjoy.
SOCIAL MEDIA TITANS
1. Kate Upton and the Cat Daddy Dance(close to 80 million views on Youtube)
Kate Upton has had quite a year. She scored the coveted cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and appeared as a bikini clad nun in The Three Stooges movie. While on a photo shoot earlier this year Ms. Upton (Kate if you’re nasty) took a break in between shoots to film this 24 second piece of heaven. Looped twice this video is 1:01.. and is the sexiest video you’ll ever see where the actress who is clothed.
2. Kanye West Started the New Year Off With A …Well It Was Bizarre(Nearly 6 million followers on Twitter)
Yeezy must have been bored in London on the morning of January 5 because he suddenly…unexpectedly found the urge to tweet… and Tweet.. and TWEET. For nearly two hours Ye tweeted on topics that ranged from his evolving fashion line, to his mother, to forming a think tank on education to … You name it he mentioned it. Just as suddenly as the barrage began it ended after nearly 90 tweets. I hope he was high or drunk because that ish was cray.
3. Facebook Shows Its’ Privates,
by becoming a publicly traded entity. There were high hopes for the social media giant, but concerns about advertising ability and doubts about the real number of users(some users have multiple pages) the stock suffered early on before plateauing later in the year. Have no fear though, Zucks is far from going to the welfare line.
4. Gagnam-mania(Youtube record +1 billion views)
Damn you Psy. This annoying song swept the world. We welcomed this ‘man’ into our country and the song on our airwaves. Then the truth came out. Psy was really a woman? No. Back in 2004, in a bit of a protest Psy sang(using that term very, very loosely) anti-American lyrics wishing for the deathsof our soldiers. America responded to the 2004 lyrics like they did to the Gagnam lyrics. Equally unimpressed and undeterred they continued dancing to the newest worldwide dance phenomenon. Oppan Gagnam Style!
Break-Ups, Make-Ups, and Kids
5. Chriahhna reunites… I think…
After the ass whooping heard ’round the world no one ever thought there was a chance that these two would ever reunite. Well time, and new albums that need to be sold, heals all wounds. The two have been not-so-subliminally sending love letters to each other via Twitter and have been seen not-so-inconspicuously canoodling every place where rich, under-talented, over-rewarded pop stars hang out. I hope, for both of their sakes, that he leaves the punching and biting in the gym and on the video games this time around.
6. Negative Ghost Rider: This Tom-Kat Is Dead
Couch jumpers around the world cried after Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced their split. They never seemed right together anyway(Chicks should never date dudes who are way… WAY shorter than they are). Rumors of Scientology involvement abound but I think she just lost that lovin’ feeling.(I know…I know…)
7. The Second Coming of… No, It’s Just Blu Ivy
I can not recall a baby coming into the world with more fan fare. Frankly, because I really don’t care(as long as I’m not the father). Blu Ivy thwarted every attempt from the paparazzi until new parents Bey Z released a series of pictures a few weeks after Blu’s birth. The collective sigh you heard was when we all realized that Blu had no resemblance to her father.
8. Twihards Lose Their Camelot: Kristen Stewart Gets Caught Up
Kristen Stewart must have bored of Robert Pattinson’s overt moodiness because she cheated on him…outside… for all the world to see. Stewart was caught grinding her the director of her new film, Snow White, while on location. After the release of the pictures, she denied anyways before issuing a ‘heartfelt’ apology which Pattison immediately shunned. Teenage girls everywhere cried foul. the rest of the world rolled their eyes.
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
Rarely do we see tragedy of a this magnitude in this country. A gunman, who I refuse to name, entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and killed 26 people; twenty were children ages 6-7 years old. The shock waves are still rolling through the country and show no signs of subsiding any time soon.
George Zimmerman saw Trayvon Martin as a threat and killed him. When police arrived on the scene they found a gun on the ground along with Trayvon, who had iced tea and Skittles in his pockets. Those are the only indisputable facts. The rest is fogged by race, Stand Your Ground, and inept police work. The trial starts in June. The debate is still ongoing.
11. Zombiemania- The Zombies Are Coming Part I
Rudy Eugene was a normal American at some point. When cops found his on the side of a Florida highway what they found would make Alfred Hitchcock blush. Eugene was crouched and grunting as he tore chunks of flesh from his victims face. He continued feeding even after the first two shots from the police’s guns tore through his body. Bath salts entered the lexicon and over the next few weeks cases of cannibalism swept the nation. Coincidentally garlic sales increased.
12. ….and the Academy Award goes to…. Tony Farmer!!!!
Kids…don’t do crack. More importantly, don’t kick, punch and drag your girlfriend by her hair. Tony Farmer forgot that lesson. The highly recruited high school basketball player felt it was a good idea to attack and scourge his ex-girlfriend in full view of security cameras. If that wasn’t enough he continued to intimidate her via text after a protective order was granted against him. During sentencing, Farmer was overcome with emotion and fainted thinking he’d been sentenced to seven years in prison. His concurrent sentence means he’ll be out in three.
13. JS… The Reason Child Rape Should Be Eligible For The Death Penalty
The former defensive coordinator of Penn State was convicted on 45 of the 48 counts levied against him. This POS will hopefully spend the rest of his natural life behind bars.
GONE TOO SOON….
14. Whitney Houston
Like so many of our pop stars, Whitney’s life had become tabloid fodder. Rambling interviews, odd public behavior, and canceled tour dates had taken a toll of Whitney’s public persona. Drug and alcohol abuse rumors dogged her until the day of her death. Whitney was found by a member of her entourage unresponsive in a bathtub in a hotel where she was preparing to sing as part of her latest comeback attempt. Fittingly, she died on the evening before the Grammys. The music industry had the first chance to publicly say goodbye to the Queen of Pop.
15. Joe Pa
Nobody rocked the birth control glasses with more gusto and success than Joe Paterno. He served as head coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions for the better part of 50 years. He survived as an icon coach at State College through slumps in recruiting and wins and kept the program largely relevant for most of his career. It is this icon status that blurred his vision when he decided, according to reports, to turn a blind eye to child rape charges against one of his coaches. JoePa was fired in November 2011 and died in January of this year.
16. Don Cornelius
Arguably the greatest host in the history of television, Don Cornelius provided America with a heavy dose of funk, hip hop, R&B, disco, and rock on a weekly basis via the hippest ride on television, Soul Train. The format was simple: A big stage where the hottest stars performed their hit singles(often times lip synching), where young people were showcased wearing the latest fashions while performing the dances that would be seen in the clubs later that evening. Soul Train was a tour de force during its heyday hosting legend like The Jacksons, James Brown, and Billy Idol(yes… Billy Idol). Cornelius died in February from an apparent self inflicted gunshot wound. Sad end for a true legend.
17. Call Me Maybe… Blame Canada
Justin Bieber makes me sick. He’s dating one of the cutest girls from Hollywood, he has more money than Oprah(not true), and he’s responsible for the biggest out-of-nowhere hit of the year. Kind of. During a trip home to sunny, warm Canada(not true…the sunny warm part) the Biebs and gal pal Selena Gomez heard Carly Rae Jepsen’s catchy tune on the radio. They loved it so much they tweeted about it and the rest is history. It will be hard to find a song that had heavier rotation than Call Me Maybe this year. Thanks Bieber. Next time keep your Twitter to yourself.
18. Honey Boo Boo… The Zombies Are Coming Part II
Rarely does a show that is shot in America, using American characters that speak English need subtitles. Honey Boo Boo bucks that trend. Speaking with a deep country accent and fueled by Mountain Dew and ‘go-go juice’, Honey Boo Boo has been jibber-jabbering and gyrating on the television screen on her weekly show. Boo Boo(Alana Thompson) was discovered on another show that featured kids who took part in pageants, and she’s been annoying everyone ever since. After watching this show and hearing the mindless interactions of the family I pray that someone will come and bite me, kill me, and eat my brains. Please?!!!
19. Rolling in the Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Adele Arrives.
Stealing Taylor Swift’s recipe for songwriting(dating a boy and then finding snazzy ways to rhyme your heart ache and pain melodically) Adele’s heart wrenching odes to loves past catapulted her to stardom. Her latest album, 21, garnered her critical acclaim and box office success going double platinum in near record time. Adele also earned 5 Grammys including album of the year. On a side note, if I hear Rolling in the Deep again..ever.. I will go crazy.
20. Who Knew That Grey Was So Versatile? The 50 Shades Phenomenon
Rarely, has bad writing been received with so much fanfare(present blog being the exception). Author E.L. James created the BDSM series after posting the books episodically on a website. What followed was a feeding frenzy, mostly by women, clamoring for more from James who wrote of the nasty and violent sexual escapades of Ana and Christian. I’ve got to be honest, I was intrigued. I never knew that so many women fantasized about whips and ball gags. Then again, when has any man known what women really want?
21. Gabby Douglas and Michael Phelps
Without a doubt these two athletes were the stars of the Games. Gabby is the first African-American to win and medal in the individual all round gymnastics competition. Other stories threatened to overshadow her accomplishments(her hair, and whether her dad is a deadbeat) but she handled the spotlight with grace and style and won over the hearts of America. Phelps didn’t match his outburst of the ’08 games, but he did manage to win his 19th medal, which is the record by any individual.
Politics and News
22. GOP Has the Worst Year Ever
The Republicans were poised to sweep everything this year. The president’s popularity was down. There was 0 momentum being built by the progressives. The economy was in the tanks and jobs were disappearing as fast as the panties of starlets who were getting out of cars where paparazzi lenses were trained on their crotches. So what does a party do when the game is handed to them on a silver platter? That’s right, they fumble. First, they struggled to define what rape is; one GOP infamously quipping about legitimate rape, while another claimed that pregnancy from rape was a blessing from God. There were more shenanigans which leads us to…
23. The Empty Chair
We all have that old person in our family who’s a bit out of it. Sometimes they are lucid and sometimes they may say or do something that reminds us of the old days. But mostly they are awkward and somewhat scary. Well, if this doesn’t ring a bell then let me introduce you to Clint Eastwood. The secret GOP convention speaker was never vetted or prepped and what ensued will go down in history.. the bad side of history. Eastwood rambled on and on and on in a sometimes incoherent soliloquy that left the crowd confused and the GOP organizers scrambling for an excuse. Eastwood’s conversation with an empty chair (supposedly holding Obama or Obama’s ghost) was part humor, part scary, and all weird. Time for granddad to take his meds. But there were even more shenanigans which leads us to…
24. Can I Have a Mulligan? The 47% Debacle
You ever talk ish about someone just to turn around and they were there listening the whole time? Mitt Romney knows. Speaking to a group of supporters and fundraisers Romney thought he was safe amongst friend. Little did he know someone had stashed a video camera on the buffet table and the rest is political history. Romney’s infamous “47 percent” remark — referring to the vast swath of the electorate who Romney felt he had no chance of attracting, because of the fact they paid no federal income tax..and didn’t want to work…and wanted the government to take care of them was in fact galvanized by his remarks. They showed their will in November.
25. Yes Sir, I’ll Have Another. The Hip Hop Presidents Wins Reelection
Barack Obama won reelection again this year. He overcame a lackluster first debate, bad jobs numbers, a sluggish economy, and Biden’s ‘malarkey’ remarks to again win the top election garnering 50%+ of the popular vote. Don’t cheer for him just yet. He still has to try to solidify his legacy while working with a GOP plagued Congress that seems more bent on destroying that legacy even if it costs Americans money, jobs and health care.