Rarely am I suprised by the things that come out of people’s mouths… unless I’m watching a Jackie Chan movie or having dinner with my little sister. I overheard a conversation in Subway while standing in line to get my Jared on, when some woman in the back of the dining are yelled, ‘The only ones of them that bother with you niggas are the white bitches in heat.’
Are white women attracted to the myth of a black man’s sexual ability? Yep. Are Black men secretly coveting sleeping with white women just for the experience? Yes… hell yes. I think the initial attraction for a vast majority of all relationships is sexual attraction and the tension that develops because of that attraction. I don’t look at any woman, no matter race, without seeking out thick thighs, wide hips and a round ass. That’s me. That’s what gets me going. I’d venture to say that most people know almost immediately whether they’ll sleep with someone. How many of those relationships get beyond that first glance especially when one or both show some disinterest?
The truth is, I’M ATTRACTED TO WHITE WOMEN. I like them. They like me. There’s no denying the sexual frission that exists. Yes, our attraction is based on race, as are the opinions expressed by those who hate me or scoff at me based on some unwritten and unspoken rule that excludes me from the potential relationship pool of eligible, beautiful women seeking an eligible, wildly sexy, intelligent, eclectic, beautiful, funny, smart and driven brotha such as myself. Let me say, this isn’t a manifesto against Black women. I love my sistas wholeheartedly. But, I have a humongous responsibility to tell the truth. A brotha without the requisite playa kit: mean stare, slang, SUVw/rims, a gold tooth or two, various indecipherable tattoos, can’t get anywhere with a sista. The reality that exists is above me and I must play the game.
I like world issues. I speak correct English(most of the time). I read. I volunteer. I drive a Montero Sport because it’s economical and gets me to work, school and to my football games without a hitch. I don’t have gold teeth…hell I hate gold. So, because the rules are what they are sistas look at me as… a little brother type or someone who can be a friend. They never ever seem me as a mate or suitor or husband.
Where a sista is quick to refer to us as ‘niggas’ and high five each other while they chant how much they don’t need us, white women are taking us at face value and at least allowing us to appraoch them past a level of material goods. Where sistas are more likely to judge a man and dismiss him for what he has/doesn’t have and what he’s has/hasn’t done for her, a white woman looks at what I have and tries to figure out, WITH my input, how she can add hers to mine to see how WE can make it multiply. White women are women and aren’t afraid to allow me to be a man. White women lift me up and support me and my dreams and goals… even if it doesn’t involve a money making venture. White women want me before I have my stacks and car and house becuase they understand that life is more about the journey and not the goalline or destination.
Now, I feel, based on my experience, and from the experiences gathered from other well meaning, hard working Black brothers, I think Black women hate Black men. I mean HATE us. Why do I say this:
- Look at who sistas put in front of our young men and women as role models. Felon ass rappers/singers, local thugs and dealers, pimps and prostitues. What does this do to the psyche of our Black young men and boys? They are taught, straight out of the womb, that they are destined to be dishonest, unwanted, not needed, future gang members, and harbingers of AIDS, haters of all that is Black , and lovers and coveters of white women.
- Black men are often blamed for the ills of Black communities and families. Look into the homes though. Women, who by and large are in charge of the Black household, are usually scantily clad and overly sexual. Drugs and alcohol persist…openly. Is there any wonder why a.) Black boys seem to devalue Black women, and B.) Our young women are contracting HIV/AIDS at an astronomical, and are wearing clothes that squeeze all of the sexual flesh to the surface while also simultaneous;y squeezing all of the limitiations of their upbringings out also.
- Are Black boys really being nurtured by Black women? For every successful Black man there is seemingly a driving force behind that success that usually started with a statement such as ‘you ain’t gonna be shit just like your daddy.’ Teachers are ignoring the plight of black, male students in droves. These boys are often shunned at home and in the school house. Where are they to turn to for value of self?
- The myth of the ‘down low brotha’ persists because sistas support these ideas wholeheartedly. Yes, there are brothas out there who are unscruplously duping women into dangerous sexual relationships. Is this the norm thouh. Hell no, but whenever a discussion of the percieved weaknesses amonst the Black, male species arises the ‘down low’ myth is given more ammo. Why is there such a vitriolic tenor to these and similar discussion about Black men amongst the sistas?
I mean I could go on forever, but I’d become more of a part of the problem that I’m describing. There definitely needs to be a dialogue… detente even amongst brothas and sistas. There is an ever widening gulf developing and if we’re not careful it’ll be too late to bridge the gap. Is this a topic that’s been exhausted? Is there a need for nderstanding? Leave comments.